The Hearse Finder General

OK. I'm gonna assume you've read So You Want To Be A HEARSE DRIVER. But you still wanna be one? Well, don't say I didn't warn ya.

On this page I've given ya some coach sources here in the U.S. of A., (sorry, to my international friends). I don't make any guarantees or warrantees as to the honesty of the companies or to the condition or quality of the coaches, except for my own personal experiences. These are just some places I know of that have funeral cars. If ya wanna, give 'em a shot.

Internet

Before Ya Buy

Better Business Bureau Check these folks out before ya commit to ANYTHING!

Auction Sites

eBay Yeah, the auction site. They've usually got AT LEAST one coach for sale on their boards. Only problem is: ya gotta take it as is. No lookin' it over. No takin' it to a mechanic. So ask the seller A LOT of questions. And know where the coach is! 'Cause shipping or picking it up could cost almost as much as the coach. Be sure yer serious before ya bid. 'Cause if ya win; ya gotta pay. EBay's got good lawyers!

Yahoo! Auctions Ditto. 'Cept they don't have as many coaches.

Classified Ad Sites

Professional Car Society Classifieds A bitchin' source for coaches, parts, and parts cars. Might even find something in yer area.

Hemmings Motor News Their online classifieds will sometimes have a coach or two. Don't forget to try their print edition available at your local newsstand. It's got a more extensive listing, and almost always at least one coach.

Yellow Book Classifieds The National Yellow Book of Funeral Directors. Always has some coaches, and they're comin' straight from service!

Collector Car Trader Online Hey, it's worth a shot.

Dealers

Doug Scott's Funeral Cars He's back in business, so if you're in the area snatch one up! I got my coach from Doug and at the time he musta had about 30 coaches! Located in Glendale/Burbank, California. (Thanx Doug.)

W.R. Bennett Funeral Coaches Located in Lowell, Michigan.

CW Coach Sales Located in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Ambulance & Funeral Coach Sales Located in Nashville, Tennessee.

Parks Superior Sales Located in Somers, Connecticut.

Southwest Professional Vehicles Located in Dallas, Texas.

United Coach & Limousine Located in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Local Search

You contact your local funeral directors. You can call them or you can write to them. I don't recommend just walking in off the street. When you contact them try not to sound like a freak... even if ya are! Conduct yerself professionally. Ya can do what ya want to with yer ride once you've got it, but first ya havta get it!

Since you've got a computer, learn how to write a form letter with yer word processor and do a mass mailing to every funeral home within, say... 50 miles of yer home. It may cost a few clams, but ya can get the word out thoroughly.

Well, I hope this helps some. Good luck and may the "hearse" be with you. (Oh god, that's awful.)

The HEARSE DRIVER